My Name is Crystal and I'm a Recovering Control Freak...

Hello, my name is Crystal and I’m a recovering control freak. I want to be in control at all times and of all things! I tend to work things out in my head first, and then I can share them. But this tends to get in the way with giving things over to God for Him to handle. This truly came to light with me through my husband’s struggle with drug addiction.

I had tried everything for many years to help him get over the addiction: rehabs, counseling, preaching to him, taking him to conferences, leaving him notes full of scriptures, I tried everything! But nothing would work longer than a few months. The whole time I was trying all these different routes, I was praying for him. I would tell God that this was His situation and that He had to handle it. All the while I sat back planning and calculating just how I was going to get my husband off drugs for good.

There was one point when things were going pretty well, the longest time “clean” yet, then he fell, and hard. I was on a long car drive by myself and it was very late at night. I was doing my usual praise and prayer time when it all hit me like a rushing wind – the anger, the hurt, the pain, the anguish – and I couldn’t take it any longer. My prayer time turned into a one-sided, passionate, anger infused yelling match between me and God. Well, from me to God. He of course, was patient and listened. I was angry and wanted to know why God hadn’t done anything, why nothing with my husband had changed, why wasn’t anything I tried working. I told God I couldn’t take it anymore, I quit! I had given up! And as I drove sobbing, I heard a small voice say, “Finally!” And God began to work in the situation.

In Galatians 4:21-31 Paul teaches about the old covenant of the law and the new covenant of Christ. He uses the story of Abraham, Sarah & Hagar to make his point. One aspect of his teaching is the arm of man versus the arm of God. What man forces to happen versus allowing God to handle it.

God had promised Abraham and Sarah children, and they weren’t getting any younger! So Sarah came up with the brilliant plan. She sent her maidservant, Hagar, to Abraham to have the child she obviously couldn’t have. This was Man’s attempt at fulfilling God’s promise. Sarah and Abraham took matters into their own hands. (Genesis 15) Sarah and Abraham grew impatient waiting on God.

We look at her and think how foolish she was, but we do this all the time. We give things to God, become impatient because He hasn’t handled the situation the way we feel He should or as quickly as we would like. We take back the control and start planning our attack. When we do this we are telling God that we don’t trust Him. We put our own reasoning and abilities above His. Whatever you start in the flesh, you will have to maintain. Abraham and Sarah had to deal with the consequences of their actions regularly. Likewise, every time I worked a solution for my husband, I had to work hard to maintain it and make it work.

We are like children going through the independent stage – the “I can do it on my own” stage. We pray and give it over to God. We say amen and our mind begins to figure out how we can fix the situation. We need to remember that God is faithful and His ways are best.

God didn’t leave Abraham and Sarah hanging out on a limb. In Genesis 17, He renews His covenant with them. They had to be patient and wait on God, but God gave them a son. God will always do what He says He will do. It may not be when we want it or how we think it should be done, but it will always be better than any way we could ever imagine. In Isaiah 54:1-3, we read about the barren woman who never bore a child yet will have numerous offspring! This woman is bearing children through the Spirit, by God bringing it to pass, not the arm of man. When God fulfills His promises it is done in a greater capacity than what we could ever accomplish in our own strength.

I know we struggle giving things to God to handle. We want our hands on the steering wheel, pushing the buttons on the remote, running the show. However, there is only one capable of handling ALL your problems, ALL your needs, and EVERY situation – God. We lose so much of our joy because of worry. We can leave our troubles in very capable hands, hands that will never fail us, that have our best interest at heart. Hands that can hold us, love us and protect us! Hand your troubles, your anxieties, your finances, your children, and your husband – hand them all over to God – and trust Him to handle them!

Crystal Owens
Crystal is a speaker for the Fabulous You Conference. She’s married with 2 girls. Crystal is currently teaching a weekly adult Bible study and a monthly Bible study for Women. She has a passion for reaching youth and a heart for missions.